“I am my most important thing.”

A number of not-so-pleasant experiences led me to truly believe and live this truth. As I navigated my life after separation, I would find myself repeating those words, under my breath, to get through the moment. Murmuring this mantra was contrary to the messages that were a part of my ecosystem. At every turn, there were messages that asked more from me than I should expect in return. My unlearning began during the utterance of those words.

“I am my most important thing.”

Living this truth allows me to make decisions that leave me standing tall and free of guilt, shame or regret. I have watched women, like me, accept less than they deserve in exchange for relationships. Over the years, I have accepted a shallow existence so some man could feel taller, smarter, and more capable than objective measures might suggest. “If you want to keep a man, you gotta…” I don’t recall anyone telling my brothers what to do to keep a woman. I am left wondering how we carefully curate messages to permeate the ecosystem that will uplift our sons and daughters. As I journey on, my children will know that they, too, are their most important thing.

Mantra written by Zuri, 7 years old