I am whole. I want to remember this feeling for the days when I feel like a fraction of the being that I am. I want to remember what it feels like to be content in the present moment without going back or to the future. I want to remember that state of equilibrium where I no longer want -because everything is here.
I have been reflecting on my journey to wholeness. A few weeks ago, I met a guy and just from our conversation, I knew he was “the one”. I know what you’re thinking, he would technically be number three, but with my new frame of mind, he is the one! We connected on so many levels and began to envision a life together. The vision was palpable, as though it was my own. We recently spent a glorious weekend together and he told me that he was afraid…afraid to hurt me like he had hurt others in the past. That would have typically taken me into a tailspin of insecurity, but there are times when you know, that you know, that you know, that all is well. I appreciated his admission and we decided to continue as friends and forego the joint visioning process. I felt empowered by this decision. In the past, I would have tried to jam that puzzle piece into place. Today, I am able to say this doesn’t fit right now; let’s put this piece to the side until more of the puzzle comes into view. This journey has required me to become a student of myself, to allow others to see me as the embodiment of my most sacred truths and hopes, and truly accept myself in all of my greatness. As I clarify my vision, I use it as a litmus test to determine who or what situations stay or go.
As we travel our individual paths, there are specific events and connections that are critical for our vision to be fulfilled. We often fiddle around with random pieces (people and circumstances) that are never going to fit -distracting us from our purpose. When you are committed to your vision, it is easier to put those pieces aside when you are certain they will not fit. The “right” puzzle pieces will be delivered to you with little or no effort as you continue to trust that what you are seeking is also seeking you. Wholeness for me is that peace that comes when a person and/or circumstance fits so perfectly that I no longer need to look back or forward for security or answers while I rest in what is.