I am not one of those people that say that “X” year was a horrible year, but 2024 was a horrible year. It probably was my fault. For NYE last year, some friends wanted to do a burning ceremony before we went out and I love a good burning ceremony! I burned fear and self-doubt on December 31st. On January 1st, my entire world shifted.

I burned fear and self-doubt because we were in the process of sunsetting the organization I was leading. I had not solidified my next professional step before embarking on that journey. I knew that I would need to have trust in the process and ironically, finding my next role was fairly easy. What I didn’t expect was for the fears in my personal relationships to be unearthed. People who I thought I could trust, who I thought would be in my life forever had to be removed because we were [suddenly] misaligned. Imagine thinking that you were close to success in almost every aspect of your life, but fear and self-doubt was lurking, ensuring that you let go of limiting beliefs in service of your vision. This sounds awesome, but it was extremely painful. It felt like I was losing myself as things began to unravel. My ultimate fear was that people wouldn’t see my value if I wasn’t meeting a need. I realized at my core that I was working too hard to be seen and validated by others. We all know external validation isn’t insufficient, but given all of the roles that I play, I want to know that people appreciate what I do and see value in how I show up…for them. Showing up for others, solely, is not a flex and it will leave you exhausted.

The question that I will be answering this year is, how do I show up for myself first. This is not about self-care, getting massages, or going on vacation, because I do all of that. How do I prioritize Zakiya’s heart, mind and soul every day? Yes, the classic put your mask on first idea. As I connect to myself and honor my needs, I will be better equipped to assist others from a place of abundance, ask for support, and be more mindful about who and what I bring into my life.

On Christmas Day, I gifted myself a photoshoot on the beach. It was one of those “Do it for the gram” clear kayak photoshoots. I highly recommend it! Anyway, I had no idea that the photoshoot would embody exactly what I need to prioritize this year -surrender to and trust in divine intelligence. My life, relationships, and being speak for themselves. I have nothing to prove.

For years, folks have been calling me “Queen Z”. I didn’t always see what they saw that is because I was looking through the eyes of fear and self-doubt. Now, I am looking through the eyes of love at this perfectly imperfect being and see myself as “Queen Z”. Excuse me while I step onto my throne!